Know Your Truth

As you are accused and blamed for everything and anything that did or did not happen, or that may have only happened in your ex’s imagination, you need to know your truth. Get grounded. If you don’t have a solid conviction of your truth, your ex’s allegations will keep derailing you. You will try and defend yourself to anyone and everyone who listens. 

While coaching Kyle, he showed me some of the school reports. One document said: The mother told the school teachers, “the reason the kids don’t have healthy lunches, is because their father (Kyle) doesn’t make them healthy lunches.”  

Of course, Kyle didn’t make them healthy lunches. His ex had never once allowed him to drop the kids off at school.  

The majority of the men and women who come to Warrior Dad Coaching are being blamed for a long list of misfortunes that have befallen their ex and kids. At times, I’ve got to hold back from laughing. I have seen guys accused of the most ridiculous things that have nothing to do with them. I’ve seen mothers blame their exes for their kids’ failing school marks because their father doesn’t do homework with them. Of course, he doesn’t do school work with the kids. The mother won’t let him spend any time with them!  

A dad showed me communication where his ex is blamed him for their two-year old’s poor behaviour and bedwetting. Supposedly, the two-year-old’s tantrums and bedwetting resulted from the father’s poor parenting.  

I’ve seen a father blamed by his ex because his kids were not eating celery. She wrote that because he the father did not eat celery, he was a bad influence on the children.  

You've got to know your truth. 

When my five-year-old son had bruises on his shins, I was accused of beating him. Reports were made to the police and to the child protection service, and investigations were done. At the time, I was annoyed because my ex was not letting me see the children because of her safety concerns. But never for a moment did I feel any self-doubt or worry. I knew that my son got the bruises from his new riding toy, which he had happily driven all weekend. I knew that I had not or would ever knowingly hurt my son in no way, shape or form. I knew my truth.  

Do you know your truth? 

If you’d like help with this area, please reach out.  

You can also read more about it in my book ‘Surviving The Ex from Hell.’